GameStar counts how many Kingdom Come: Deliverance II trophies could be done in real life

GameStar writer Stefanie Schlottag counted how many Kingdom Come: Deliverance II achievements could, in theory, be done away from the game. With three expansions there are 83. She dropped the platinum and anything tied to the plot or to named people: those need a time machine. That left 41 trophies, split into easy, effortful, and purely theoretical.

The easy set, as she sorts it: travel to Kutná Hora, pet a cat several times, die (she notes that one cannot be skipped), read a poem of your own to an older woman, and hang badly worn underwear in a tavern. The Russian names she uses are «Новые горизонты», «Пушистая измена», «Конец», «Поэзия в крови» and «Под брауншвейгским флагом».

Still legal, but real work: forge a sword after years at a smithy («Перекованный»), live without meat («Пост»), and learn to pick a difficult lock («Быстрые пальцы»). The third basket is the set she tells people not to try: a crossbow shot to the head from 30 meters, dropping a boulder on someone, finishing a fight with a combo, and «Остраконофобия» — letting a crayfish pinch you to death. The claws barely break skin, and wild crayfish have nearly vanished.

Her total is 32 of 83 that can be completed without breaking the law. Schlottag counted seven for herself, including a notional ten thousand groschen spent as euros, and a cat she had petted. It is a paper exercise, not a guide. The piece is on GameStar.